Stay Thirsty, My Friend!

He sits in the dark corner of the bar.

The top two buttons of his shirt are unbuttoned, offering freedom to the greyed chest hair that now protrude shamelessly.

He leans back arrogantly in his chair the buttons slightly straining on the front of his shirt.
And he has an arm casually slung over the chair on either side of him as though he owns the woman in both chairs.
If he got up to walk across the room, I know he would swagger.
His yellowed, nicotine-stained mustache is too long.
It completely obliterates his upper lip and slides down, untrimmed, into the creases of his aging face to melt into the yellowed, untidy beard.
And his grey hair could stand a combing.
The creases on his forehead and bags under his eyes are emphasized by the dirty, smudged look of his skin.
Then he begins to speak with the gravely voice of someone who has smoked way too many cigarettes and drunk way too many drinks in his lifetime. For me, that is the final nail.

The guy just creeps me out. Period.

But it’s more than just his appearance.

It’s his arrogance. The way he looks at you and assumes that you will admire him…. That he somehow owns you.
Then his unseen wing man starts to speak.
His voice is not so gravely, but still deep and suave, authoritative yet personable.

But it's hard not to laugh as he begins to feeding you the cheesieet of lines:




“His personality is so magnetic that he is unable to carry credit cards…”
(You’ve got to be kidding?! Do they think any woman will buy that?)
“His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body…”

(What the heck does that even mean?

Maybe that explains those yellow stains?)

“People hang on his every word, even the prepositions…”

(Okay, I am a ‘word’ person by nature. And I don’t even get that one at all!)

“He once challenged his reflection to a staring contest, and on the fourth day, he won!”
(What an idiot!)


“If he were to punch you in the face, you’d have to fight off the urge to thank him…”





“Sharks have a week dedi-
cated to him!”
(Ummm …. okay.... I guess that is a lame reference to Shark Week on the Discovery Channel?
Maybe that is included just to win over scuba diver?
Or female marine biologists who like rugged old men…? By now he's beginning to win over a small audience...)
But as you pan out, you can see a beautiful young woman on either side of him, each immaculately dressed and coiffed.
Okay. Be serious now. Certainly these young, beautiful women just happen to be sitting at the same table because there are no other seats available.

They don’t look at him, but smile at each other and laugh quietly at untold jokes, nodding and and communicating with each other.

There is a red candle on the table top.

It reflects in bits and pieces of red satin that you can almost see in the shadows.

Red...
...and satiny...

...and sensual.
And now they show glimpses of this sleaze bag in his adventurous younger days:

…he is arm wrestling with what appear to be Cuban soldiers in some sort of camouflaged bivouac ...and winning, of course.

(…maybe speaking to our men in uniform? Or reaching out to those of us in the audience old enough to have been around for the Bay of Pigs and the Cuban Missile Crisis. His audience is increasing by small increments...)
Now he is bench pressing two sexy young Asian girls in short, crisp white nurse’s uniforms while crowds laugh and cheer him on.

(…okay, so maybe he has all of the boys’ attention now…. or is he trying to focus on the Asian market...? That's a much larger demographic!)
In yet another clip - remember, each of these clips is only 15 or 30 seconds - he comes upon a ferociously angry grizzly bear who has managed to get caught in a bear trap.

He calmly approaches the bear. He’s dressed in his three-piece suit, of course! And then he sets the bear free without getting hurt.

And his wing man says, “His blood smells like cologne!”
(… okay … maybe now he has won over the environ- mentalists and those folks from PETA … or even us sensitive gals who hate to see any animal in pain...)
Then, of course, his wing man tells us that “His mother has a tattoo that reads, “Son.”

(…okay, now he’s got the Marines on his side too?)

“He could disarm you with his looks…or his hands…either way…”

(Hmmm… Not sure what that means... But surely it speaks to someone out there, or he wouldn't have said it.)
“…at museums, he is allowed to touch the art.”

(…okay, now I am embarr- assed to admit that that one really even appealed to the art-loving/museum-going part of me!

Seriously. Surprisingly, I relate to that comment on a very personal level. Silly of me, but he's finally hooked me.

Now he's even got my attention. Maybe even my allegiance.)
“He can speak French... in Russian."

(…okay... That one is very witty and always makes me chuckle.

I guess that one covers all the lovers of romance novels and spy thrillers. The group is definitely widening.)
“Even his enemies list him as their contact number.”

(…okay, hmmm.... You have to admit: that is pretty amazing. Now tell me, who can’t like this guy?!)
But, of course, they don't stop there.

That's just the basic stuff.

You can't sell sensual without satin-garbed beauties, and the warm tones of Spanish guitar.

The music rolls through the room, tantalizing, soothing, luring – all very alluring.


“He’s the life of parties he has never attended …”


(…okay, now nothing the guys says sounds the least bit silly any more.

I want to go to these parties!

I want to meet this man!!!)
“He’s the most interesting man in the world...”

Or that is what his wing man tells us.

And by now, we are wanting to be like him. Or at least one or two facets of him...

Then we hear from the man himself.

His raspy, gravely voice now sounds sort of sexy… interwoven with the swelling, pulsing Spanish guitar…
“I don’t always drink beer...,

but when I do, it’s Dos Equis!”

…okay …. if you know anything about me, I don’t drink beer - ever!


(I prefer rum. Were I a drinker, I would definitely be a rum and coke kind of gal.)

But I am ready for a bottle now!

Waiter, bring me a cold one!
How did he do that? In very brief 15 and 30 second bits?!

How did I ever get from finding this grungy, nicotine-soaked, smugly- chauvinistic man revolting to wanting to sit down at the table with him, swig a few cold ones, and listen to the tales he has to tell?
When did his creepiness cross over into the realm of sexy and appealing?

That’s the way the devil does it.
If he came to us with a dirty face, nicotine-stained mustache, grizzled beard and greasy, uncombed hair, we’d shudder and turn our backs.

So he tells us he is something that he’s not.





I know it's a cliche, but it's so very fitting here.

He's a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Initially, I found these commercials silly.. sometimes funny. Until I heard that thing about being so cool he could actually touch the art.

Silly, huh? That that was the one thing that struck a chord in the depths of my being. Hey we all have our soft spots...

And then I was really surprised to find myself intrigued when I heard (from across the room while I was multi-tasking) the “He’s the life of parties he has never attended …”

I've never been a party girl by any stretch of the imagination. But I am a very social, people-person. And I miss interacting with people as I did when I was a teacher, a mother, even a massage therapist. I miss the interaction.
He tells us what we want to hear and gets us each at our weakest or most vulnerable spot. He always has a hook.

He tells us he can do it all.

He has something for everybody.

People hang on his every word...

Sharks revere him...

He is sexy and suave and surrounded by the most fascinating people....


From a Christian's point of view, this commercial is all backward. Makes you want everything that you shouldn't probably focus on in life.

But at the very end, we have a quick turn-around.
For then our "most interesting man on earth" says the only words that are really worth anything in this commercial.

Less than two quick seconds. If it weren't at the end of the commercial, it would be lost.

But I think these last four words of the commercial bring us back to where we should really be.

These are the best words of the commercial and what is truly important here:

“Stay thirsty, my friend.”

So important, it bears saying again:


“Stay thirsty, my friend.”


For we are told...
...for He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things. – Psalm 107:9

I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land. – Psalm 143:6 and Matthew 5:6



and possibly my favorite:

He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. – Rev. 21:6


So, along with the "most interesting man on earth," I ask you to "stay thirsty, my friend!"

(And have a wonderful 4th of July as we celebrate the freedom our men and women in uniform provide us. God bless America!"